A Jenny Woo Classic from the June 2003 issue of CTN Magazine

Jennifer Woo takes a look at some eye candy covering today's televised sports scene and rates the sexiest network broadcasters.

Jennifer Woo

It used to be the fairer (and might I add smarter) sex was never allowed anywhere near the men's locker room after a game.  Today, they're practically taking showers with them for God's sake.  

There is nothing wrong with being sexy, and believe me you I should know.  So many of us ladies who watch baseball really don't even know what a home run is.  I guess that's when the player makes it around all bases, but I don't want to mislead anyone.  We watch the game to look at all those juicy backsides...Right ladies? 

Okay, I've rounded them up.  Let's take a look at my favorites, those sports broadcasters I consider to be most sexy.

1.  JILL ARLINGTON

Oh my God, is that Barbie in the flesh?  Where's Ken?  Jill Arlington is an absolute DOLL, and she knows it.  That's probably why she decided to pose for Maxim sister magazine, FHM.   In the piece, FHM gives some biographical information about Jill. Smash-mouth football, though, is in her genes. The daughter of Rick Arrington, a former quarterback for the Philadelphia Eagles, Jill has had pigskin on her mind since she shunned her Barbies in favor of watching Sunday football with Pop.

After six years as an entertainment reporter, she fulfilled her dreams by becoming a co-host for the Fox Sports weekly football show, Under the Helmet. Having made a name for herself there, Jill soon found a home at CBS Sports, where she’s been adorning the sidelines for both college and NFL games for the past two seasons.

She is simply amazing, especially in those daisy dukes.  While I love watching Jill cover sports, it's my personal wish she wouldn't cover much else.  

2.  BONNIE BERNSTEIN 

What's a nice Jewish girl doing in the boy's locker room these days?  Confucius say Jenny don't touch that one with a ten foot pole. Nobody knows the fine art of holding a microphone better than Bonnie Bernstein, NFL sideline reporter on CBS since 1998.  She's also covering the NCAA Men's Basketball Championship and NCAA Women's Gymnastics.  She can cover the Westminster Dog Show for all I care!  I'd tune in all the time just to see this beautiful smiling face.

3.  FRANK GIFFORD

I know he's old and married now to that painfully annoying Cathy Lee Gifford, but this man has truly improved with age.  That Cathy sure is a lucky girl, even if he did cheat on her with some two timing floozy.  During the regular football season, I spend all my nights in bed with Frank Gifford....well, not literally of course.  I hate to say it but when the game is out of reach, Gifford does act as a pretty good sleep aid.

4. INGA HAMMOND

I'm a sucker for blondes myself, even though Inga's roots are pretty distinctive.  She's not the easiest to find as CNN/SI has limited cable access, but Inga's in my home all the time!  The Sports Tonight host has been at it for more than four years now.  For those of you held captive by that oh so evil cable provider, it's time to buy a dish.

5.  BRENT MUSBERGER 

Brent Musberger is one of the most versatile and talented broadcasters in the industry.  For me, I personally love that salt and pepper hair.  Musberger is sooooooo big they even named a beer game after him.   The Oregonians for Nebraska (www.or4ne.com) site features the Brent Musberger Drinking Game, invented by a fan who goes by the alias Lou Fanoukie.

The Musberger rules are a little complicated. For example, every time Musberger says partner, or "Pardner" as he pronounces it, the person selected The Pardner before the game must take one drink and then select a new Pardner. The second Pardner must take two drinks the next time Musberger utters "Pardner" and it progresses from there.

Another catch phrase frequently used by Musberger is "Folks." Everyone drinks when he says folks, but if he utters "Hold on, Folks" the first person to drink has to finish it for not holding on.

I'll drink to that!  I'd be content though just staring at that rugged face all during the broadcast.

6.  HANNAH STORM

This babe has sports in her blood as the daughter of the Indiana Pacers first general manager.  She's also a graduate of Notre Dame.  Hannah may not be my number one pick for most sexiest broadcaster, but she's definitely number one overall in terms of her broadcasting skills.  I enjoy listening to her more than anyone else.

7.  JAYSON WILLIAMS

Okay so his stint at NBC only lasted - what, one month?  I just checked my television listing to make sure I my provider carries Court TV as this is the only place I'll be able to see my sexy NBA hero in a suit before he's marched off in the black and white jail stripes.  Who knows, I might have myself a new prison penpal.  Jayson Williams, for those of you living under a rock the past year, shot and killed his limo driver after a night of heavy binge drinking.

8.  SUMMER SANDERS

Just how hot is Summer Sanders? Hot enough to have her own fan websites and hot enough to appear in TV spots for VO5 shampoo. She's also hot enough to co-host NBC's NBA Inside Stuff, even though she's a two-time Olympic gold medalist for swimming. A record-holder in the 200m and 400m individual medley since 1992, Sanders was a swimming commentator at the Sydney summer games, and she drove the boys wild whenever she mentioned the breaststroke.

9.  MARV ALBERT

Okay so maybe he got a raw deal a few years back when he sodomized that woman in Virginia....then again, I guess she was the one who got the raw deal when you really think about it.  Now before any of you start thinking Jenny Woo likes doing the nasty Marvy Style, get your minds out of the gutter! It's all about the hair!  And I love a man who knows how to say YEEEEEEEESSS with such authority.

10. JOHN MADDEN

To some of you he may be just another over the hill rambling sportscaster.  To those of us with good taste, John Madden represents the quintessential Neanderthal who makes Mommy want to go back to the stone age.  In fact, he kinda looks like he may have been around during that era.  Madden's the type of guy you know wants to grab Hannah by the hair and toss her out of the men's lockerroom on her ass.  Remove those bushy auburn eye brows, tuck the cheeks and nose in a bit, give the chin a lift and we got ourselves Casino Times News publisher, Robert Cole.  His wife is one lucky gal (Jenny Woo purrs like a tigress once more).

Originally published on June 2003
Republished for Sports911.com May 31, 2004 10:18 am EST