Somach's Doubledown URNS Him a Ban

Written by:
Jagajeet Chiba
Published on:

Let's all hope the late outspoken poker pro Dustin Schmidt's soul can rest peacefully now that reporter, and the last person to own a WebTV email account, Thomas Somach, has been blocked from posting on what is easy to mistake as his own expletive-laced Facebook memorial page wishing him death....It's actually Dusty's.  Most of the comments are aimed at Tom though.  

A month after the 40-year-old's untimely death from a heart attack, Somach says he wants to do his part to promote the Dusty Schmidt memorial Facebook page despite being told to "Go Fuck Yourself" from what appeared to be Dusty himself (from the grave).   Only Tom!!!


"Dusty made lots of money playing online poker and there was probably no will or life insurance because he died so young and unexpectedly," Somach suggested.  "His widow should start a GoFundMe account and get his loyal fans to donate to it."

Somach's squabble with a dead person - because what real reporter wants to report on a living bookmaking syndicate threatening to kill their clientele and members of their families - seems to have surfaced from Schmidt's promotion of anti-Covid vaccine rhetoric.

Yours Truly, Jagajeet Chiga, got the "Killer Bookmaking Syndicate" assignment because Somach is "on assignment"

Yeah, feuding with dead people...okay fine.

So what got Somach banned?

"His wife posted a photo of herself hugging a jar presumably Dustin's ashes so I asked if that was Dusty's dust in the jar."

Uhhh...yeah....of course you got yourself blocked, Numbnuts!

What would you expect from someone who thinks you need to clap when shouting "Hey Alexa" to turn the lights on?

"I never thought someone could mourn a loss of a loved one longer than Meghan McCain," Somach uttered.


Oy Vey!!!!

But alas, the Dusty Schmidt memorial has somehow morphed into a Thomas Somach hate shrine.  It practically resembles Mike "The Mouth" Matusow's Twitter comment feed.

Mike (a different Mike) wrote:

"Thomas Somach Can you shut the fuck up, you single-minded piece of shit?"

Jeff wrote:

"Thomas Somach You are a sad piece of shit!!"

Brenda wrote:

"Thomas Somach GO TO HELL . Why would you even utter such crap on this page at this time. Dusty was a fine man , a real friend. And you can just keep your drivel elsewhere!"

Chris wrote:

"Thomas Somach it’s a fact you’re just a little libtard with a mouth piece. You prob wear 3 masks while you’re driving. Such a dirtbag."

Jagajeet wrote:

"Thomas Somach hey fuck face. You are an asshole."

Will wrote:

"Thomas Somach man you have to be the rudest person alive on the planet. How shameful of you. I bet that your mother regrets giving birth to your sorry ass."

And, speaking of Thomas' mom, we managed to conjure up her spirit too since we are on a roll....from her $25,000 mausoleum in Eastern PA......


Tom's mom obviously didn't really say that. ....It was his DAD!!!!

Here's what his mom actually said:


Somach is no stranger when it comes to an obsession with what dead people are up to years after their demise.

Following the double suicide of owner, Kenneth Weitzner, and his wife, Jackie, Somach pitched the idea of having fellow reporter Jenny Woo show up at their former Chesapeake, Virginia home a year later dressed in a Ghostbusters costume in order to interview the new owner and find out if the house was haunted.  

He regularly requests permission to write ghoulish anniversary articles on their deaths.  The Gambling911 site has declined, all 50 times.

Somach, by the way, upgraded to an AOL email account a few years ago.  He can be reached at

- Jagajeet Chiba,