London Olympics 2012 Mascots Are Pretty Scary … And Phallic

Written by:
Jagajeet Chiba
Published on:
London Olympics 2012 Mascots

They are supposedly fashioned from droplets of steel used to build the stadium that will serve as a centerpiece for the London Olympics 2012, but to the children and adults alike they are a bit....well....terrifying.

The one-eyed wonders are named Wenlock and Mandeville and resemble Telletubby's on crack.  While the Telletubby characters are known for having televisions in their tummys, Mandeville has an unusually large blue patch on his groin that somewhat resembles an ace of spades, part of which is probably tucked inside his warm little latex outfit.  Is it me or do these mascots resemble giant sperms?

They have London taxi lights implanted on their heads.  The mascots have no mouths and no bad teeth.

NordicbetThe baffled reactions by Londoners to their unveiling on Wednesday spoke volumes.

"They remind you of aliens, which is really weird and cool," one boy relayed to the Guardian newspaper. 

If these things landed in my yard I wouldn't exactly run out to greet them. 

From the Guardian:

Wenlock, named after the Shropshire town of Much Wenlock that helped inspire Pierre de Coubertin to launch the modern Olympics, and Mandeville, inspired by the Buckinghamshire town of Stoke Mandeville, where the Paralympics were founded, will become very familiar in the next two years. The chairman of the London organising committee of the Olympic games (Locog), Lord Coe, said the mascots were aimed squarely at children and designed with the digital age in mind. He said they had the most positive reaction in workshops to road test them.

If there is anything good to report here it's that these London Olympics 2010 Mascots beat out anthropomorphic pigeons and a Big Ben with arms and legs.

Children will be encouraged to interact with the characters, inviting them via Facebook, Twitter and the web to visit their school.  NOT MY CHILDREN.

Organisers hope Wenlock and Mandeville will rank alongside the more fondly remembered mascots, such as Waldi the dachshund from the 1972 Munich games and Misha the bear from the 1980 Moscow Olympics - rather than the much maligned Izzy of Atlanta 1996.

Surely Wenlock and Mandeville won't be too easy for us to forget so the organizers have that going for them at least. 

Jagajeet Chiba,

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