Cash Crash: The Most Unluckiest Online Gambling Affiliate on Earth
Michael "Uncle Fester" Cash, proprietor of the online gambling portal TheSpread.com just can't seem to cut a break. Just last year on route to a Bodog.com the world's most unluckiest online gambling affiliate arrived in Vancouver Canada and was promptly deported back to his home state of Michigan the next day. Seems he had an arrest warrant from several years back for knocking out someone at a Windsor, Ontario casino who....as fait would have it, was a police officer.
His next "meet the sponsors" trip was slated for San Jose, Costa Rica this week, home of more online sports books and casinos than anywhere else on the planet. While driving to the airport, Cash was slammed by a drunk driver. The poor sap was thrown through the windshield and sustained mostly minor cuts and abrasions.
He wasn't about to let a little thing like an accident keep him from flying off to meet potential sponsors.
Cash showed up at the airport next day and was put on stand by. He stood by every possible Houston connection Costa Rican bound flight and was essentially "passed by".
"They must have thought I was a terrorist," Cash told Gambling911.com.
Or worse, a grave robber.
It is rumored that gamblers who sign up through Cash's website tend to win more than they lose - therefore this prevents him from getting a cut of his referred players losses.
The only luck he's had is getting some of the advertising money up front, but it hasn't come easy with all these deportations and car crashes. Occasionally he'll hook up with a hot woman as well, so he could have some luck in that department. Just remember, Morticia Adams was pretty sexy and she was related to Fester by blood.
Michael "Uncle Fester" Cash is therefore nominated by Gambling911.com as the "Unluckiest Online Gambling Affiliate on the Planet". Cash is also know by close friends as "Pool Boy". He is known for catching flies on his tongue.
If he should happen to show up at CAP Euro next month in Barcelona, run.....don't walk...the other way.
He's creepy and he's spooky...and all together ooky....and we wouldn't come near him with a 20 foot long pitch fork. You'd probably have better luck walking under a ladder with a black cat on Friday the 13th.
----
Payton O'Brien, Gambling911.com Senior Editor
