Who are the English Premiership gay footballers?

The top sports story of the weekend didn't happen in the Winter Olympics or during any of the college basketball games.  The top sports story of the weekend involves a burning question of Who are the English Premiership gay footballers?

Sure there are plenty of gay athletes, and in the end Who really cares?  Well, we do of course.  But it's the News of the World that has helped make this quite the torrid story.

Two players and another man were caught on camera cavorting with a pal well known in the music industry in a homosexual orgy that will shock soccer, this according to News of the World.

The three men—who cannot be identified for legal reasons—are pictured wearing just vests and boxer shorts as they tackle each other in ways fans never expected.

The third man, said to be in the music business, can be seen leaning over the pair, kissing and caressing the footballers, who play for different sides.

"One (Player A) lay on the bed while his mate (Player B) knelt down beside him and gave him a **** ***. Soon his (Player A's) face was contorted with pleasure.

Gambling911.com will wait to see which online sportsbook is the first to offer betting odds on which of the two Premiership soccer players are outed.

News of the World, never one to shy away from a good story, also release video images of British soldiers allegedly beating Iraqi youths with batons and fists aired throughout the Middle East and Britain on Sunday, outraging locals and prompting British Prime Minister Tony Blair to vow a full investigation.

The tape was obtained by the News of the World tabloid newspaper from a whistleblower it did not identify. The footage purportedly shows a street confrontation in which Iraqi youths throw objects at British soldiers and then flee down the street. The cameraman provides narration and urges the soldiers on.

The soldiers apparently chase the Iraqis, catch at least three and drag them through a gate into a fenced in areas, according to the footage. The civilians are then pulled to the ground and beaten by at least five alleged British soldiers with batons and fists.

One of the civilians has his shirt ripped off.

Gambling911.com anticipates an online sportsbook placing odds on which English Premiership footballers were engrossed in this gay orgy.

In the meantime, our own Jenny Woo - who herself enjoys being in the company of women - has put on her gaydar and is up to the challenge in attempting to determine which of the English Premiership players may have been involved.


Jenny Woo is pictured here with Jamie of Medium 21.


Sol Campbell Why Is every body surprised at Sol liking a bit of back door????  It was stated quite clearly on sky sports when he signed for the gunners.  Then again, someone said that he was so his elder brother john attacked them by repeatedly kicking them to the ground then kicking quite a bit more during a football training session, leaving studmarks on his face and mashing him up real good. He broke several teeth and shattered his jaw. John told the jury in his trial that it was self-defence and he had been upset by these continuing 'slurs' over a number of years.  25 to 1 odds.

 

Will Young Several months ago rumours were posted on the net that Will Young was in a relationship with footballer Matt Taylor.  Hmmm, Jenny's gaydar just went up 20 notches.  The Sun Newspaper front page of the pull-out football section once read: ‘The Truth about me and Will Young.’ Underneath: ‘Taylor raps gay slurs.’ In the article the footballer denies rumours of a relationship with the singer: “When everything came out I was very upset. Everyone who knows me knew it was a fabrication and I think someone had it in for me.”


 Pop Idol finalists Will Young and Gareth Gates have scored their first number one single as a duo. Jenny's gaydar just went up a few notches here so I'm giving this one 3 to 1 odds. 

 

Matt Taylor Based on what we're reading above, Matt Taylor gets 3 to 1 odds as being one of the gay footballers involved in this salacious orgy.  Some months ago rumours were posted on the net that Will Young was in a relationship with footballer Matt Taylor. Sources say this is unlikely, but what seems to be the case – and Honeytom has spoken to those closely associated with Taylor’s employers – is that the Portsmouth left-back wanted to use this opportunity of his moment under the limelight to become the first footballer to out himself since Justin Fashanu  in 1990.

 

Christiano Ronaldo Or should we call him Christina?  Okay okay, a bad Jenny joke....especially since I am such a friend to the gay community, but my gaydar here is in full gear and I almost have gots to list Ronaldo as a favorite at 1 to 2 odds.  In reviewing the picture on left, notice the shape of Ronaldo's mouth.  He most certainly knows how to whistle Dixie - if you know what I mean.  Also Jenny has examined the contour of his body.  Lean, well-defined ab muscles and - most importantly - he appears to be shaven.  The hair is also a dead giveaway with its blonde highlights.  Also you will notice the earring.  Oh yes, Jenny has him with odds of 1 to 2 for sure, make that 5 to 1.

 

 

Jermaine Jenas - I personally would love to be sandwiched between Jermaine Jenas and another woman....or another man....maybe Ronaldo???  Notice the pretty boy features.  I think trims his eyebrows.  Earring present, looks a lot like Ronaldo's.  During an interview, Jenas was asked if he ever got nervous, to which he responded "There are always a few butterflies" and he was then asked Who would win the World Cup to which Jenas said "I fancy either Italy or Argentina.  It is Jenny's experience that straight men do not use terms such as "butterflies" and "fancy".  Nevertheless, I cannot see Jermaine Jenas engaging in a gay orgy on film.  Odds of it being him are 25 to 1.  He is however a strong suspect among soccer fans.

 

 

Joe Cole He looks like he's about to start performing ballerina moves in this picture to the left. Soccer star Joe Cole fled in terror after being battered in a drunken brawl over busty Page 3 girl Keeley Hazell.

Chelsea’s Cole, 24, was set on by a love rival as he chatted up Keeley at a party.

He ran bleeding, bare-chested and shoeless to a South London cab office. A witness said: “He was covered in blood and bruises. It was a right beating.”

Cole was so badly beaten he was almost unrecognisable.

The £60,000-a-week Chelsea midfielder climbed out of a WINDOW at 5.30am to escape his rival for 34DD beauty Keeley, 19.

Cole turned up at a nearby minicab office covered in CUTS and BRUISES and dripping BLOOD.

His SHIRT had been ripped off in the struggle and he had lost his SHOES. He also had no MONEY or PHONE.

Jenny is giving him 10 to 1 odds considering his desire for risky sex romps. 

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Jenny Woo, www.gambling911.com

Originally published February 12, 2006 5:40 pm EST