Annie Duke’s Beau More Like Fugly Joe

Written by:
Ace King
Published on:
Joe Reitman

With the announcement this week that poker pro Annie Duke would be marrying her long time partner Joe Reitman, for whom Duke refers to as “Joe Ugly”,’s own Thomas Somach was taken aback by the realization that he is indeed… a beast.  At least Somach seems to think so.

“I thought the 'Joe Ugly' nickname for Annie Duke's fiancé was sarcasm, like calling a fat guy 'Tiny',” Somach said.  “I figured that as an actor he's handsome...but he really is ugly...repulsive even.” Senior International Correspondent Jenny Woo disagreed.

“I don’t know what Thomas is seeing and I don’t quite understand where the ‘Joe Ugly’ name comes into play,” she said.  “He is actually kinda hot in a grungy musician type of way.  I’m almost envious.”

Somach just cringed at Woo’s comment.

“He looks like a walking STD,” chimed in reporter Jagajeet Chiba.

But walking STD’s don’t get into American Pie hottie Shannon Elizabeth’s panties….well, at least we hope not.  Reitman was once married to the stunning actress-turned-poker-pro.  Now he is about to tie the knot with another hot one, Ms. Duke. 

“Somach and Chiba are just jealous because Joe is able to get hot women like Shannon and Annie,” observed Woo. 

Reitman himself is an actor who has starred in such classics as Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Squatters, Monk, Mental, Crank: High Voltage, and Drop Dead Sexy just to name a few.

“He should play the next warewolf,” said Chiba.

- Ace King,