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Cuban Transgender Reporter Sparky Collins Brushes Up on English

Written by:
Payton
Published on:
Jan/31/2009
Sparky Collins

Everybody's favorite transgender reporter, Sparky Collins, is back after a 6 month hiatus.  Reporting on the world of entertainment and poker, Sparky has spent his time wisely, studying to take the U.S. Citizenship Test and brushing up on his English in order to produce more readable content for the Gambling911.com website.   Formerly, the Cuban born columnist presented an editorial nightmare to those responsible for proofreading his work.  With an economic crisis looming, Sparky was required to take courses in English and self-study via the popular Rosetta Stone program in an effort to cut down on proof reading man hours. 

The result is a new and improved Sparky Collins that will be covering "alternative lifestyle" issues as they apply to the entertainment betting and poker world.  Sparky desires to be the next Perez Hilton, a fellow Cuban who works the gossip circuit and is also living an alternative lifestyle.  

"I hopes to bring a unique perspective to the subject," said Sparky, who fled Cuba on an inner tube, swimming 90 miles to the Florida shoreline in the early 90's.  The U.S. "wet foot, dry foot" policy ensured Sparky could stay in America once he stepped on shore in Miami.

"They take my money," Sparky reminisced.  "I think to myself, ‘the bastards!  Just like in Cuba!' then they give it back and all my jewelry and give me another $500.  I said ‘Welcome to America, Brotha!'."

After some odd jobs that included street vendor, peddler, sex purveyer and photographer, Sparky became a writer.  He also honed his skills as a photographer and is now one of the most sought after cameramen on the fashion circuit. 

"I come a long way Brotha, living the American dream."

Sparky loves America though he spends a good part of his time in Puerto Rico working underwater photography jobs.

"I love it!  I love to write then spend my time underwater."

Sparky admits to being an even prouder American now that Barack Obama has become the first Black President.  Sparky now has aspirations of becoming the first Cuban transgender President of the United States.

"Legalize marijuana, stem cells research, gay marriage, online poker," Sparky says.  "These are my podiums."

But first Sparky must become an official U.S. citizen.  The requires taking a test that - scary to say - many born in America might not pass.

Some of the questions on a sample U.S. Citizenship Test:  How many stripes on the U.S. flag?  In what year was the Constitution written?  How many Supreme Court Justices are there?  What are the first 10 amendments of the Constitution called?  Which of the following amendments to the Constitution does not address or guarantee voting rights for transgenders?  What are the 13 original states?  Why did the Pilgrims come to America?  How many representatives are there in Congress?

"It is going to be tough test," Sparky acknowledged. 

Regardless of whether he passes the U.S. Citizenship test or not, Sparky's writing talent cannot be suppressed, whether by oppressive political regimes, radical extremists groups or language barriers.

"Others go to bed with their womens; I with my ideas."

Payton O'Brien, Gambling911.com Senior Editor 

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