It may take mo' than a dolla to make Jenny Woo holla but evidently that's all it took for Sportingbet and Leisure & Gaming to sell off their US online gambling companies for last week.  Yeah, I couldn't believe it when I heard this.....These companies sold Sportsbook.com and VIP.com for only a dollar!  Isn't this history in the making?

But wait it gets better!  BetCorp, another publicly traded online gambling company, held out for $9 million!  Let me get my nifty little solar powered Jenny Woo calculator out to do the math here.  That's an $8,999,999 difference in sale between what Sportingbet got.  I should be an accountant!

Oh wait, just when you think it couldn't get any better (or worse), the shareholders at BetCorp actually have to approve this $9 million sale?  WTF???  Jenny says "Take the money and run you quazie Auzzies!"

Now my scorecard is starting to look like the scribble I used to do on one of those magic writing pads I had as a kid....and as if things couldn't get any more murky, enter that Playboy stud Kelvin Ware into the picture.  I bet he's grateful these days I tend to always forget his name.

It came to my attention while playing with little monkeys in the Miami Monkey Jungle yesterday with a dead cell phone that Ware paid $9 million for BetWWTS.com, the BetCorp brand, but he doesn't want the US customers.  He only wants the European customers and based on the information I've researched (yes Jenny does research), we are left with approximately 10% of BetCorp's business going to Kelvin Ware for a mere $9 million.  But what's $9 mil when you're on the cover of Forbes Billionaire issue I ask?  I suppose $9 million is equivalent to a dolla in Kelvin's mind.

I wonder if Kelvin is counting sheep or billion dollar bills these days in between romps above the sheets with young brainless Asian girls?  I need not qualify as the over-the-hill token half Asian/half Redneck 26 year old. 

Now my math skills are really going to be put to use.  I'm almost afraid to break the news to Kelvin that in this industry apparently you can go from being a billion dollar cover boy to a having a billion lice in one's graying hair as a corner begging hobo on the streets of North Miami Beach.  Let me explain why that is.

In a mere week's time I am told, PartyGaming lost billions of dollars on the London Stock Exchange and now they are barely trading.  They also lost nearly 80% of their customers by thinking it would be a brilliant idea to pull out of the US market and focus on the Far East since PartyGaming management believed US customers would no longer be able to use their credit cards to play poker online.

Here's a news flash PartyGaming coming from an Asian who knows the deal.  The only plastic you'll find in an Asian's home is the plastic hidden beneath a female's chest....but lo and behold, I'm a rare breed even in that respect.  Asian people (the one's living in Asia) rarely use credit cards and they sure as hell won't use a credit card to play in your pansy poker room.  I use them only if they belong to someone else.  Good luck with that strategy, I'll be sticking with my Pamela Anderson (speaking of plastic hehe).  Pamela's poker room, Doyle's Room and other fine Gambling911.com endorsed online poker rooms will be more than happy to take up the slack. 

I'd like to take a moment to touch on 888.com but all these numbers have Jenny's head spinning and my ADT is out of control.  It's bad enough my editor has me counting up to 9 million, now I'm supposed to count up to 888?  Let's give it a rest for a day!  WTF?

The reason for all this nonsense?  A number of these companies believe they are breaking the law.  Some say they are not.  Others interpret it differently based on the really vague wording.  It's kinda like the time I was driving 90 mph on a 65 mph speed limit highway.  I broke the law and was put on probation for going just 25 mph over the speed limit.  WTF?  And here we have Kelvin Ware paying $8,999,999 more than the folks who bought Sportsbook.com for a dollar.  None of these folks are serving even a day of hard labor and I spend two nights in jail for going 25 over the speed limit.  This is probably why I failed math!  Oh, and to make matters worse I'm told the speed limit in Wyoming is 90 mph, so what exactly was the crime?

I shouldn't complain, going to jail in this industry seems to be some sort of badge of honor you wear proudly on your chest.  You'll be happy to know Jenny has spent a night or two or three in jail.  That probably makes me bird squat in this industry though!  Fortunately most of these bookies don't want me wearing anything on my chest so I guess I'm safe there. 

Jeez, this industry really is going to hell in a hand basket. 

So until next time, this is Jenny Woo saying "Sianaro".  Be sure to check out my blog.  Watch for my skydiving photos coming up shortly.  I'm back from hiding....err my vacation...and better than ever. 

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Jenny Woo, www.gambling911.com

Originally published October 21, 2006 7:58 am ET