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Being a Brad Pitt Lookalike is Sometimes Hard...In More Ways Than One

Written by:
Payton
Published on:
Aug/20/2008
Brad Pitt

If you are going to have a roommate, it doesn't matter how good looking you are, never ever shack up with someone who looks like Brad Pitt.

This is advise relayed to Gambling911.com by a one time online gambling guru who soon discovered he had an enormous superiority complex once moving in with fellow Nine.com employee, Chris, affectionately known in the industry as "Brad Pitt".

Brad was so good looking that girls would literally throw themselves at him. The girls in the Nine.com office Costa Rica office were said to all be in tears upon discovering that Brad would be shuffled off to their new Curacao office following the acquisition of Nine.com by VIP.com.

"I have to admit I was kinda relieved to learn that Brad was leaving Costa Rica so that I could get my mojo back," his roommate, who we will call Walter, told Gambling911.com.

"Talk about having an inferiority complex. I would be laying in bed and here this ‘tap tap tap' up the stairs, get up to see who was coming up those stairs with the high heels and some hot as hell girl would ask me ‘Is Brad upstairs?'. I would just point upwards and roll my eyes. Later the door would open and the same scenario would repeat, different girl though. Once he had four girls in a single night. I would usually end up staring at myself in the mirror for an hour asking God ‘What was wrong'.

"One day a group of us guys were all hanging out at a bar and Brad was there with his ‘girlfriend'. There were hot girls everywhere and I am thinking to myself ‘This time I am getting lucky, Brad is taken and this place is swarming with p****. Suddenly, Brad's girlfriend gets up to go to the bathroom and I am standing beside him. This super hot girl makes eye contact my way, darts towards me, our eyes meet and she proceeds to pull out a card with her number and hands it to Brad. ‘Call me tonight after you dump your girlfriend" she tells him. I'm like ‘What the f***'.

"This boy got more p**** and phone numbers without even trying. I could have been standing next to him on fire and these girls wouldn't even notice anything other than Brad.

"Then the big day came. Brad tells this hot chic he hooked up with that he has a roommate. He tells me to come out with them since this girl had a "friend" who would like to meet me. We show up at the bar and there are about a dozen hot chics who are all going ga ga as Brad entered the room. But what happened next was the biggest shock of my life. This wolf pack of girls were all with Brad's ‘new girl". It seems they all believed that ‘Brad's roommate' - that being ME - would look just like Brad. One of the girls walks over to me and says ‘Hi Shrek'. I bolted out the door!"

But Shrek....err Walter....was a little older, a little wise and way more experienced than the younger Brad Pitt lookalike it turns out.

"One day we are on this trip and we both managed to pick up. So what if they were hookers and Brad didn't have to pay. Both were Columbians and we couldn't wait to get to our rooms and n*** them.

"Here I am right in the middle of the hottest sex I've had in my life and there is this knock at the door. I tried to ignore it but the knocking continued. I'm thinking ‘You have got to be f***ing kidding me'. I open it and there is Brad standing there, looking down embarrassed like a sad puppy dog that has just been kicked too many times. I asked ‘What's up, Bro?'. He proceeds to point down towards his crotch and tell me ‘I can't get it up, that's the problem.

"Brad had way too much to drink. I reach into my bag and pull out a Viagra, which he knew I had on me but Brad was terrified to try it. The young stud apparently never had this problem before. ‘Just take it, you will have no problem' I advised.

"Very early in the morning I am sleeping like a baby when I hear this knock on the door again. I try to ignore it but the knocking continues. Eventually I had to get up and answer the door. It is Brad.

"'What's wrong, Buddy?' I ask and he proceeds to point down once again towards his crotch. I am thinking to myself ‘This boy is blessed more than I ever knew'. In his pant was this huge erection. ‘It won't go down!' he bellowed. I tried to comfort him. ‘Give it time' I said.

"A few hours later we had to go to the airport and he comes to my door and that problem hadn't corrected itself. He is shaking and trying to cover his unwelcome erection with his Nine.com T-shirt, which only made matters worse.

"Most of the time at the airport he was able to conceal the wanton willy by holding his luggage in front of it. This worked out perfectly until we got to the security check point and Brad had to place his carry on bag onto the conveyer belt. Brad goes through the metal detector and of course the thing starts ringing and going berzerk. Wouldn't you know it, one of the female TSA security comes running over to wave that metal detecting wand all over Brad's body. I thought she was going to do a cavity search."

Walter admits though that Brad was the kindest and sweetest guy.

Gambling911.com's Jenny Woo might not have been buying the "sweet" act, however.

Woo and her partner in crime, Rebecca L. from CasinoCity.com were heading to Costa Rica via Miami International Airport and were excited to learn that Brad would be having a stopover there returning from a vacation in his native Canada. He would be on the same flight as Jenny and Rebecca. The two would not stop talking about Brad.

Once at the gate area they were mortified to see Brad arrive with another girl, who was holding his hand and arm especially tight.

"This b**** takes Brad all the way up the corridor to some gate area that had no people and the two sit in the corner hidden by the counter," Woo relayed. "She gave me this look like I was the one who needed the breast implants and straight white teeth. Uhh, no Sweetie.

"Rebecca and I were pretty mean to the girl amongst ourselves, mocking on her when the two had disappeared. Obviously she felt threatened. I was so horny I was making eye contact with this kid across from me. He was pretty hot - not a substitute for Brad - but at least there was some eye candy around. It turns out he was 14 years old. ‘Nice skateboard,' I tell him. God I wanted Brad so bad!"

But Brad managed to infuriate our lovely Jenny one day by standing her up during a trip to Miami.

"I ask him what happened, why we never got a chance to meet. He tells me he was told not to speak to me. I'm like ‘What the f***?, Why?'. He then tells me that he was warned ‘not to speak to me or anyone from Gambling911 because people in the industry are afraid that if they talk to us they will be all over the site the next day'. He even said that ‘people in the industry do not like Gambling911'.

"I immediately reported this to my boss who told me it was all lies and that Brad probably was with his girlfriend while in Miami and that is why he came up with such a lame excuse."

"We would never do that," my boss tells me.

The Brad Pitt lookalike has since moved on to bigger and better things. And - in case you were all wondering - he is still taking Viagras.

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Payton O'Brien, Gambling911.com

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