Sparky Collins Poolside Frolic at Atlantis Resort in the BahamasOkay, let's be honest here. CAP Bahamas Spring Break 2007 in the Bahamas was tons of fun: Free booze, free food, free booze, hot babes, free booze and Sparky Collins! The Atlantis Resort and the Bahamas Paradise Island in general was nothing to write home about. Overpriced, overhyped, slow service and one poor guy even got food poisoning and was trapped in the Bahamas Airport for three days puking his guts out (not the greatest airport by the way).
The Disney Cruise disembarks in the Bahamas each day and allows its passengers to roam freely throughout the resort. Loads of fun if you like crowds of people, mostly families with young screaming kids.
If you must visit the Atlantis Resort - the shark tanks, water slides and the Bahamas outside the resort area are among the highlights - might we recommend the Comfort Suites next store, which is typically half the price of the Atlantis Resort with full free access to Atlantis only a mere five minute walk away. Unfortunately, with the nonstop rain, a cab ride there costs $6. Do the math: 5 minute walk, $6 cab drive. Something does not compute.
The Comfort Suites had a horrible wireless Internet connection when we stayed there (though it worked well in the lobby the first few hours of our trip). This forced us to spend the $10 a day Internet connection at Atlantis, which was certainly much faster. The Comfort Suites is a Choice Hotel but certainly not our choice if this property is any indication of how they run things. Clogged bath tub, poor wireless connection, lots of kids (which isn't necessarily the hotel's fault and it was far worse at the Atlantis), very little in the way of food selections, and we had to wait until check in time for our room (having arrived at 11 am - check in time at 3 pm).
In the Bahamas everything is on island time. This means, everyone works really slow, which basically translates into poor service. That's fine if we weren't paying high end US dollars.
And, yes, Anna Nicole (everything from the hospital where she delivered her daughter and son Daniel passed away to the funeral where they are both buried) is already a major tourist attraction on the island.
Alas, Sparky Collins made quite a splash on the island and - in particular - the Atlantis swimming pool that Sunday when the sun finally came out and so did all the families with their small kids who were trapped indoors the two days prior. Sparky's poolside frolic was sponsored by the fine folks at StraightFlush.com who ordered all the poolside drinks and helped to make our own Payton O'Brien a straight PLUSH.....color that is - from all the Bahama Mama's she consumed.
Sparky poses in the swimming pool
Sparky made plenty of new friends at the Atlantis Resort in the Bahamas
The service staff at the pool was loads of fun and made up for inadequate service
elsewhere in and around the resort. Sparky ordered a Bahama Mama and got a bag of
broccoli with celery sticks and carrots? Hmmmm
One of the joys of Sparky Collins poolside frolic was taunting the lifeguard
Sparky could not wait to show off his/her rad bod the first sunny day in the Bahamas
Jenny Woo arrives at the pool and receives a big Sparky greeting. Yes Sparky likes women!
Always the matchmaker, Sparky decides to hook up two perfect strangers he/she determines would make a nice couple.
But Brandon had other things on his mind, deciding he would rather settle for the best
of both worlds........ahem.........that would be Sparky
Dreams really do come true at the Atlantis Resort in the Bahamas...even if it is overpriced and overrun by families with small children.
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Costigan Media, LLC
Originally published June 17, 2007 10:14 pm ET
