Enough with the Sex Tapes

Jenny Woo has had it up to hear with all this news about So-and-So starring in a sex tape that somehow manages to get into the wrong hands....

Heeeeeeeeere's Jenny....

Okay, I have totally had it with these supposed sex tapes that most of us never even get to see because....well maybe they don't exist.

For example, the big news this week is that Sophia Conrad (Sophia who?) has not done a sex tape.  How wonderful.  Glad to hear it Sweetie. 

The rumor initially made the rounds in the gossipsphere last week stating that 'The Hills' star Lauren Conrad would be joining the likes of Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton and starring in her very home video.
Perez Hilton had reported that the Hills star made a sex tape with former boyfriend and bad boy Jason Wahler, who has been arrested three times in the last twelve months and was recently sentenced to serve time.

"Jason is trying to sell the video before he goes to jail," a source close to Wahler tells the self proclaimed 'Queen Of All Media.' "LC will lose her mind when she finds out!"

Of course, here we are getting all hot and bothered waiting on a sex tape that Sophia says does not exist.  I bet she has no idea.

Roberto Castigliani sex tape aptly titled "Two Minutes of Torture" was previewed by Gambling911.com staff and deemed "Not Even Suitable for Adults"

For example, have you ever noticed how these celebrity sex tapes (with the exception perhaps of Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee) are always too grainy.  You can never fully tell if it really is the person alleged to be starring in the sex tape.

Online gambling and online poker has had its share of scandalous sex tapes beginning with the highly acclaimed Royal Sports CEO Sex Tape shot along side Roberto Castiglioni's pool.  Having met Roberto - now purveyor of TheOnlineWire.com I almost wish I was at the receiving end of that one.  This was the ultimate in grainy with only 2 minutes of sex.

Then there is that acclaimed David Williams sex video.  WTF?  Actually, it wasn't really sex I don't think.

Roberto is very proud of his sex video.  David will not talk to us. 

Excuse me as I grab my barings. 

Now sex videos seem to be so chic they are getting boring.  Even that doofus from Saved By The Bell, Dustin Diamond, was featured in a sex video.  Who will be next?  Dick Cheney?

Paris Hilton is probably among the better known of the sex tape stars

Save the drama for your mamma! 

Real reporters don't report on this type of nonsense.  Gambling911.com reporters for example have degrees from Harvard, Yale, Carnegie Mellon, Kean University and Katherine Gibbs Beauty School.  We don't engage in this type of salacious reporting and it is fine time that others start to follow our lead.

Sex tapes?  Who cares!  That's old news.  Excuse me for my PMS.

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Jenny Woo, Gambling911.com

Originally published April 11, 2007 7:06 pm ET