Gay Bomb?  What Were They Thinking?

Just when you thought things couldn't get much worse in Washington, the rest of the world must be thinking we are losing our minds as reports surfaced that the Pentagon was at one time contemplating a gay bomb.

"The Ohio Air Force lab proposed that a bomb be developed that contained a chemical that would cause enemy soldiers to become gay, and to have their units break down because all their soldiers became irresistibly attractive to one another," Hammond said after reviewing the documents.

"The notion was that a chemical that would probably be pleasant in the human body in low quantities could be identified, and by virtue of either breathing or having their skin exposed to this chemical, the notion was that soldiers would become gay," explained Hammond.

But alas, don't blame Bush....errrr.....

The Pentagon told CBS 5 that the proposal was made by the Air Force in 1994.  That would have been during the Clinton era.

Then again, the proposal was still being considered as late as 2001. 

With respect to the Air Force proposal, the Department of Defense has recently been quoted as saying the following:

"[The proposal] was rejected out of hand."

Huh?

Our own resident multi-sexual, Sparky Collins, has been probing this story while reporting from CAP Spring Break.

While this story has been around for a while, confirmation only came recently.  Collins, who fought in Angola for the Cuban army during the mid-1980's, questions what affect a gay bomb would have - say - if the US forces ended up engaged in some "friendly fire".

"We drop our weapons, then our pants.  I don't get this."

Collins also discovered that the Pentagon may not be playing with a full deck.

The plan for a so-called "love bomb" envisaged an aphrodisiac chemical that would provoke widespread homosexual behavior among troops, causing what the military called a "distasteful but completely non-lethal" blow to morale.

Scientists also reportedly considered a "sting me/attack me" chemical weapon to attract swarms of enraged wasps or angry rats towards enemy troops.

A substance to make the skin unbearably sensitive to sunlight was also pondered.

"Our tax money at work?" wonders Collins.

In other gay news, Anderson Cooper is still a +2500 long shot to come out of the closet before any other celebrity this year.  He would no doubt become the favorite if US forces decided to make use of this "gay bomb" since Cooper would probably be the first inserted on the front line.

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Jordan Bach, Gambling911.com

Originally published June 12, 2007