May 19 , 2006

Reality shows for OJ, Shannen Doherty and a Tonya Harding Opera. No Kidding.

Even though Reality TV wasn't labeled until May, 2000 with the cliffhanging suspense of Survivor, it was formulative years of the 1990's that gave us our thirst for real-time news and entertainment. During the Clinton era, we had easy accessibility of cable and satellite, in combination of that explosion called the world wide web. Talk shows dominated the day, and like a possessed out of body experience, we became involved with lives of people we would most likely never know.

Tonya Harding

In 1994, we became engaged with the saga of Tonya Harding, Nancy Kerrigan and bashed in knee caps during the Olympics. Underdog, pudgy skater gets jealous of svelt gazelle skater, and tries to level the field by leveling competition at knee level. The story could of ended there, and we'd all be the better for it. However, the power, (or curse) of the reality gossip news, kept the story of Tonya Harding alive. Even today she's a household punchline, and she can thank her made-for-TV antics for her staying power.

Tonya Harding entered the world of the nude Internet celebrity with the appearance of a pornographic "Wedding Video" that shows her having sex with her ex-husband Jeff Gillooly. And, if that wasn't painful enough, she attempted to launch a singing career. Just when you thought ridiculous was safely out of reach, she entered the world of boxing.

In 2002, Tonya Harding boxed on the Fox TV network Celebrity Boxing event against Paula Jones, and won. She then went on to profesional boxing, but lost in a four round decision, amid rumors that she was broke and needed to box to get some money.

So, what happens when your pathetic life gets continued media coverage? They make a musical out of it, or course.

Tonya and Nancy: The Opera, a new work based on the Tonya Harding-Nancy Kerrigan ice-skating scandal that unfolded prior to the 1994 Olympics, premiered in Cambridge, Massachusetts two weeks ago.

According to the Associated Press, Harding's character is heard to sing, referring to her boxing career, "The difference is that you have to have the balls to punch the other girl in the face. The difference is you don't get in trouble for hitting her."

This is one of those stories that makes you want to unplug your computer, doesn't it? I apologize.

Moving On to OJ

We've all been OJ'd to death. In 1994, the Juice was charged with the murder of is ex-wife Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman. I was actually on 101 South that fateful day when OJ fled in his white Bronco. People got out of their cars, and cheered on the sidelines, as if we were at a football game. Some had signs that said, "Go, OJ, Go!" It was surreal.

Speaking of surreal, it is rumored that OJ will appear in a reality TV show called 'Juiced'. And, why does this not surprise us? We watched his trial for eons, and OJ is burned into our retinas and gray matter forever thanks to continued pop culture.

For example, in an episode of Family Guy , it is heavily implied that Stewie planted jealousy on O.J.'s mind while drunk on Mai Tais by saying "I'm telling you, Juice. She's screwing behind your back. And if I were in your Bruno Maglis, I wouldn't stand for it."

Even the video game Duke Nuken 3D has references throughout the game including a chase scene on a T.V. of Simpson's white Bronco as well as giant billboards saying "innocent?" and "Guilty!".

According to a segment aired by "Inside Edition," O.J. boasts in the segment of how he made his getaway Bronco SUV famous, as he was quoted as saying, "It was good for me — it helped me get away."

I beg of you people, please don't watch this garbage.

Shannen Doherty

Remember 90210? Yes, you do. You may have watched it with your curtains drawn and volume on low, but you watched it. That and the catty night-time soap, Melrose Place.

And, remember how bad-girl Shannen Doherty would get in fights in LA nightclubs, and with fellow co-stars? Not only did she alienate herself from 90210, but she then went on to create conflict with the cast of Charmed. She left Chamed in 2001, claiming that her best work was being wasted on a show "for 12-year olds" (though rumors persist that her departure was against her will, due to a feud with costar Alyssa Milano.)

So, she must be pregnant and barefoot, in some decaying Hollywood McMansion by now, right? Nope. In true wiccan spirit, she has been reborn to spread her bitchy ways once more. Shannen Doherty is starring in her own reality TV show for the cable TV Oxygen network. The show called, 'Breaking Up with Shannen Doherty' will have the star rescuing people from 'toxic relationships,' Daily Variety reported.

Each episode will have her going undercover to assess each relationship before deciding either to leave the lovebirds alone or destroy the pairing.

Folks - If Shanen Doherty is involved in your relationship, you already have a major problem.

Why won't these 90210 brats go away! Oh, yeah. And, Tori Spelling (Donna Martin) is currently appearing as herself in the VH1 comedy So NoTORIous.

Speaking of Tori Spelling, Bodog.com is currently offering a proposition bet on Tori Spelling.

Bet On: Will Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott publicly announce they are expecting a baby by December 31st, 2006?  YES is -140 NO is even money.

She was just spotted looking at baby cradles at popular boutique, 'Petit Tresors', in Los Angeles., so RUN - do not walk to grab this one!

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